Last night was the first night I really "went out" at Dartmouth. What follows is as complete of an account as I can recall written in a stream of consciousness. Enjoy.
7:45-I head to dinner at FOCO (short for Food Court, the old nickname of the dining hall. It used to be called Thayer Dining Hall. It's now called The Class of 1953 Commons, but if you call it that you'll be a social pariah) in violation of the Holy Burnett Commandment of Eating-Dinner-at-Five with my friend Ryan, an ex-marine who just got out (he's 24). We eat and recap our weeks in the somewhat awkward manner of people who have only known each other for a couple of days. We polish off some coffee saying, "We're gunna need the energy."
8:30PM- We head to Ryan's room where he mixes some Rum and Coke's for us before we head to my room to continue pregaming while playing Black Ops.
9:00PM- We realize that the season 4 premiere of Fringe is on NOW. We change the TV over to Fringe while I frantically try to explain the premise to my roommate, Ari. Delos, the '14 in the room next to mine swings by and has no idea wtf the show is about and I just stop trying to explain. Ryan's lady friend Jackie (some hot asian '15) stops by for some reason before leaving after making some awkward conversation with us. Pretty sure Ryan and her hooked up that night, but no confirmation.
9:30~10PM-Ryan, Ari, and I crush more Rum and Coke, and some beers before Fringe ends. Ryan heads out (to meet up with Jackie?) while Delos, Ari, and I head to a frat. Upon reaching the door at end of the hallway, we realize it's pouring rain outside. Fuck.
10PM~10:05PM-We head to Phi Delta Alpha, "Phi Delt". The basement floor is covered in what I can only call grime and filth; a layer of sweat, beer, dirt, spit, and other unmentionables. It houses a bar with a lively game of dice going on and three pong tables. We ask for the line on the tables and the brothers flash four fingers. We would be fourth in line? Fuck that. We leave to get some 'tails at another frat (Delos assures us of this). The name eludes me at the moment...
10:05~10:10PM-We head to the frat right next door and go up to the second floor, following Delos' lead. We enter a dorm room filled with random asian guys and a mysterious red mixed drink on the table in a pitcher. Delos hands us cups and we proceed to chug. I realize only after drinking some that we lost Ari in the crowd. I head downstairs to the basement and run into Ari coming up the stairs. Apparently the line is super long here too. Ari and I agree that we need to find some beer fast. I crush my red-drink and we head back to Phi Delt.
10:10~10:11PM-It's still pouring outside....fuck.
10:11~??? This is where the narrative becomes a little hazy. After arriving at Phi Delt, the following things occurred, not necessarily in the forthcoming order. To the best of my recollection here's what happened.
1. Ari and I proceed to learn dice. It's kind of like indian poker-I shake 5 dice in a cup, and without looking I call my hand. I say "Two three's". The person to my left can call my bluff by dramatically lifting the cup off the dice to reveal what's there. If it's anything higher or the same as what I called, they have to drink a 12-ounce clear plastic cup of keystone or the 'Batch'. If it's lower , then I have to drink. If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't matter-they'll tell you if you need to drink. The person to my left can also play it safe and only peak at the dice if they think I'm not lying. They then pass the dice on and make a call of their own. This goes on for quite a while.
2. Ari leaves with some indian girl. I don't see him for the rest of he night.
3. I leave to use the bathroom. Clearly, someone did not know how to aim.
4. Coming back, I spit in a trashcan. I was accosted by a brother who shakes me by the shoulders. "What the fuck dude", he yells. "You spit in the 'Batch'". "You have to drink all of this!"
....
I'm clearly not drinking all of it. It's a huge fucking trashcan of their homemade concoction. I spit in the trashcan out of politeness (didn't want to add to the grime on the floor) and this is what I get. Despite my profuse apologies, he threatens me further with dumping it all on me. Luckily some girl comes over and calms him down and I take the chance to escape...and play more dice.
5. At some point I finally get on the pong table with a brother from Alpha Chi who I met through Ryan. We lose by about six cups, but at this point I was beyond saving.
6. Somehow I stumble home, manage to take of none of clothes and pass out in my bed.
7. Ryan comes to room and finds me passed the fuck out sleeping the wrong direction in my bed fully clothed and decides that there's something wrong here. He gets me some water and tells me I've got shit on my clothes and I gotta change. Somehow I manage this and pass the fuck out facing the right direction in my bed. This part I have gleaned from a conversation I had with Ryan this afternoon.
In conclusion, I went too hard. I did not have my Burnett tolerance and paid for it in the morning with a ferocious hangover. I was woken up by concert techies blasting "Party Rock Anthem" in a soundcheck for the concert. And that's that. You stay classy Dartmouth.
More to come soon.
