How I feel about my final project for ENGS 24

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd_Vd43Vxa0

Sums it up pretty well.

Not getting much from my other teammates.

Some people don't know how to spell "Celsius"...or use spellcheck apparently.

Go figure.

Back to the hometown in t-minus seven days.

-BHL

Weekend Update

This weekend was witness to monumental event, my first ever victory in Pong (not 'root).

Actually I won 4 games and lost 1, proving that even noobs can beat frat bros at their own game.

In other news...I studied a lot. Still 3 more midterms to go before finals. Yea I have finals in three weeks...

Some great stories about another 3-2 Bowdoin student from this weekend, who will remain anonymous.

Will this workload never end?

-BHL

New Post taking us into Week 7

It's been a while since my last post; I guess Dartmouth's been keeping me busy.

A number shitty academically related things have happened to me since my last post, but I won't bore anyone by enumerating them. JK...I had four midterms in three weeks, twice as many problem sets and a report on Ge-Sn crystallization on amorphous silicon wafers.

On to more interesting things.

Carnival is ridiculous. I mean Ivies level ridiculous, with day drinking and such to the max.

Heavy drinking and frat hopping Thursday night, order pizza later, wake up without a hangover. Epic win.

Last night...watched Dartmouth hockey get slaughtered by Union College(which I've never even heard of) 5-1. A group of Dartmouth '15 girls sitting in front of us destroyed what was left of my faith in humanity by talking about Twilight and hockey player's butts while having fake tans and way too much make up on. Seriously, one level below Jersey Shore obnoxiousness. These people are going to be leaders in America some day just because their diploma says Dartmouth...

What is this world coming to?

Following some casual drinking in a friends room where I met a cute girl, our group decided to go frat hopping. No, I don't remember where I went, nor do I quite remember how I ended up eating two cheeseburgers and a slice of pizza. I do know we ended up at a raging dance party at ChiGam for quite a while before our group splintered with different people pairing off and leaving and the colby kid taking off with my prospective cutie...As the last lone man standing I decided to call it quits and head back. Need to learn to flirt better...eh

Good(ish) night.

Things that I don't understand about Dartmouth...

1. Paper thin walls that let me hear the girl next to me having really loud sex and the girls to the other side of me yelling about handles of Smirnoff at 10 in the morning, waking me up entirely too fucking early.

2. People who work out in the gym wearing Sperry's...I just don't understand.

3. Our giant snow sculpture that turned out to be a stupid cupcake...yea a cupcake...it's just as lame as it sounds.

4. Slow ass internet that won't let me watch Chuck online.

5. Why did I come here again?

Also, a quick recap on last week when I went back to Bowdoin. To the best of my recollection, here are some highlights:

1. Dinner with (most) of the old house and friends, where conversation topics included vodka tampons, and how to shave half of v's hair off in the most stylish way (reverse mohawk is my personal favorite)

2. Party at Pine E where I was ambushed with slap-the-bag followed by a beer bong. Good times playing bouncy ball and 'root. Shout out to my friends who know how to take of my liver, and to those who took care of me after I realized my Burnett-level tolerance was a thing of the past.

3. Pregame at School street. What can I say? Nothing says Burn reunion better than power hours, bouncy ball, and 'root. Also, sick apartment set up, minus the distance from campus. For future reference: still not a good idea to pour shots into the bouncy ball cups.

4. Party at Pine A where I held my alcohol better, actually talked and caught up with some physics peeps, stayed until way too late and got BBQ bacon pizza from Domino's...so clutch

5. Morning after brunch...so sad to say goodbye to everyone, but hopeful that I would see them next week for Carnival...didn't quite happen, but there's always next time.

P.S. Brunch at Bowdoin >> Brunch at Dartmouth...just not even a contest.

Can't wait to get back and rage some more....Also, let's figure out housing.

-BHL

Since the beginning of the term...

I have lost 5 pounds;

I have been back to a frat...and still never won a game of pong;

I have studied for midterms (two on Tuesday);

I have run three straight miles for the first time;

I have kept my new year's resolutions (so far).

I have shot a gun (three handguns and a shotgun) for the first time.

Can't wait to get back to Bowdoin and see everyone again.

-BHL

Christmas Break

Top Five things done over Christmas break:

1. Played skyrim...awesome

2. Read Hunger Games series, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and Girl Who Played with Fire. All excellent.

3. Went to Hong Kong and nom'ed on some spectacular chinese, thai, japanese, and american food.

4. Got attacked by my uncle's German Shepard before christmas dinner at his house. It hurt like a mf, but now I feel a little more like a gangsta?

5. Saw high school friends for new years where my dad saved the day by buying some beer for our party.

Now back at Dartmouth and finished with my first day of classes. I'm praying this term won't be as bad as the last one. It can't be. It won't be. Positive thinking.

Still hoping to get back to Bowdoin once everyone gets back from break. Maybe those in the Boston-Maine area want to come visit me??? No pressure.

Also, it's way too fucking cold.

Best thing about dartmouth?

Leaving for Bowdoin.

Why did I come here again?

On the eve of my final exam for the fall term I ask myself why I chose to come here again.

If you're looking for humor, this is not the post to read.

I thought I could find something better than Bowdoin. I though I could find something more interesting, more hands on, something that would let me take part in something bigger than myself. I thought to make new friends and explore new subjects, to expand my horizons and all that other bullshit they tell you about when you first get to college. I thought it would be freshman year all over again. The freedom of freshman year combined with two years of college experience and a new social scene, what could be better?

I look back now and can definitively say that I could not have been more wrong. I have spent more time working, less time sleeping and socializing than I have at any other point in my college career or my life for that matter. I worked harder for shittier grades and less education. I "learned" about group dynamics; the only thing I learned is that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself because your roommate is likely out fratting.

Did become part of something bigger than myself? No. I became a slave to my work. I woke before 7 everyday and went to bed past 1 every night. I learned to live on 3-5 cups of coffee a day. I learned to give up any semblance of a social life. For a month I did nothing but eat and work. For what? To invent something that would help millions? thousands? hundreds? even one person? No. To make something that couldn't even melt one inch of snow? Yes.

For the record, a snow melting helmet is the dumbest fucking idea for a project ever.

I sincerely hate it here. I question why I even bother to try anymore. I actually devoted 100% of my time to my schoolwork; something I had never had to do before in my life, to see a return of this $!@%. Barely scraping a B-? I know I deserve better. I know I can do better. But faced with a situation such as this, what should I do?

Ask yourself, if you truly devoted yourself to something, only to see it fail; if you truly put all of your time and effort into something without any appreciable return, is it worth pursuing? If you give up everything you enjoy for two years in pursuit of a degree which may or may not get you a better job, is it worth it? Is it worth leaving your best friends behind for the bleakness of New Hampshire and the bullshit traditions of drinking keystone in a frat basement?

These are the questions I have wrestled with in the past several days.

I think something is wrong if the part of the day that I look forward to the most is going to sleep. I could understand feeling this way every now and again, but everyday? I am so rundown, I have no resistance left. I am left with my neutral emotive face but only for total lack of energy. The occasional text or chat with friends is literally the high point of my day. I just don't care anymore.

Someone get me out of here. I can't wait.

I made a mistake leaving Bowdoin. I made a mistake coming to Dartmouth. I pride myself in being able to handle anything that life throws at me but right now....

I

am

running

on

empty.

*insert bullshit inspirational phrase here*